ahhhh
spent a load of money today
really is a LOAD
bought a pierre cardin wallet for my mom.... coz.... im nice
HAHAH

and got sale la......
sigh
the govt shud force all shops to open til 11pm......
so early close... i buy wad.....
so now, i have an additional tee, 2 skirts, bag, earrings & magazine
hahaha
not bad right.... all within an hr, coz me & my sis finished dinner at 830....

sigh
dumb yikai
he had betta be able to join us at expo tml....... if not eat dinner only v sian.....

my shopping expedition will cont on fri......
but seems like fri is shopping-for-others'-stuff day
haha

*

to u,
hey
just got ur letter....... nv expect it to be typed though....

msged u on msn, but guess u've slept?

but anyway.... i dunno....
i find myself a goddamn straightforward person,
be it being called honest or plain tactless, it all adds up to the same to me
but ya... i dont sieve through my words
and i think by that, ive caused u some anger, some sadness, probably alot of hurt

whatever was said, was said on the moment
but it doesnt mean it isnt true
it is, but i reckon it was a strong expression of myself
but..... im not sorry for it, coz i meant it at the point of time

to me,
if u are just a good friend, u would have been fantastic
u would have made a very ideal person to talk cock, shop, eat
but the problem is, u r not
u are one of the people i deem, i want, to keep for the rest of my life
and our frenship staying at this level is not enough for me

u know i dont consider alot of people frens
my frens are what others would consider good frens
and what others would consider friends are just "people i know" to me
i dont know wad cause this stringent & perverse thinking in me.... but it just is there

if i were to be glad w our friendship, u would be a very good fren to me
and i dont want that

im not asking u to change urself, im not that selfish or stuck-up.....
coz u never did want me to change

but i suppose alot of things arise because we are so inherently different
that, to a certain extent, cant be helped
and i think.... thats sad....

u knoe im a person who cant be bothered.... w pretty much everything
and when u make me angry, pissed, say hurtful things, its coz it mattered to me

i feel very evil when i see what i write
i didnt love languages to say vile things
and it seems like it was wad i did
that was very irresponsible

u dont know how i almost deleted that post
but since i wrote it, it would be cowardly to just take it down
and well.... some unrelated pple see it
but i wouldnt know they had seen it & whatever comments they have i dont give a damn too

and well.... now they see this too
i recognise that i dont seem too saintly but i never did say i was a nice person
im not, im a bitch when i wan to be, which unfortunately is, most of the time

i dont know if u feel that its unwise/stupid/idiotic of me to say it on some www. place
but basically.... u are the only decided receiver of the msg....
and whatever pple wan to say its their own business
couldnt care less anyway.... but if u mind, thats e one thing im saying sorry for

well...
this is a raw & unedited msg
just saying whatever pops out
very impromptu, very unorganized
and anyway..... i still have no idea wad can be done...

and.......
i bought ur fav passion fruit cookies for u today at taka
i dunno when i'll see u again but i just thought of u
dont think it'll rot anytime soon though
cookies are resilient food