im soooo tired....... i dunno y..... i juz am.....

okayyy anyway here goes my entry 4 today........

ydae*
went smu for some silly dumbo talk... but actually its qt informative..... @ least gimme a betta idea of e academic stuff.... which i noe zilch abt!! haha so overall its not bad la...... & my academic calender LOOKS slack..... n my timetable SOUNDS slack..... i shall know if its REALLY slack soon... hahahah

today*
went ML w lirong... oh i dont wanna elaborate... jus makes me SIAN.....
went town after tt..... hahah e usual... slacked @ spinelli's....... if we could earn money by slacking we would've been millionaires.... talked qt abit..... shuang la as usual... when is it not?? haha.... dont have to do this v frequent..... but once in awhile...... it feels nice..... & relaxed....
oh.... another thing..... her fren, yingling's taking, like, eng chin jap in nus!!! sounds damn bloody great!!!

mebbe shud hav went for arts/social sc instead.... mom says i shud study more languages(not neccessarily in uni la) coz i haf e intreast & flair for them..... but.... i dunno..... i like languages & i think i can do well @ them... but mastering them is a diff thing..... i dunno y.... but i alwaes have this idea that i can do alot of things well but an expert on nothing..... like a jack of all trades but master of none...
not e 1st time im feeling this..... n not jus for languages.... for many other stuff.... i noe bits & pieces of manymany things but i dont really have in-depth knowledge of them... mebbe coz i have a real short attention span span for stuff & most of the things i get into are passion-fuelled; fiery but short-lived.

thats y im in biz isnt it??
im afraid of going pro...... coz i noe that to go pro means i will want to be e top @ my field & i have this niggling feel that i cant do that. kinda like a psychological barrier.

passion dies. loves perseveres.
i truly honestly dunno which passions stay.
what i really yearn for is a thorough knowledge of everything..... but only hardworking geniuses achieve that. im not a genius, and most definitely not a hardworking person.

oh who likes to be fickle?? yea i hate commitments, or rather im scared of commitments.
but i always thot it only applied to relationships, not other stuff.
guess im wrong, huh??

i sound like a psychotic who urgently needs treatment. hahahhaha..... ahh wadever.

enough of this..... giving away too much of myself...... so unlike me.....
a moment of.... a surge of emotions??? or jus random thots that fill my head always but nv got down to it..... somehow it juz triggered off like that....

oh mebbe i'll delete this entry in a few days time...... highly possible.....
im so bloody insecure. hell.

really am tired....
& my dl speed currently sucks..... damn